Discuss...

Running is what I do, Music is who I am... Discuss.

Sounds like an exam question doesn't it?

The thoughts have been going around in my head for my last few runs. I've been trying to make sense of them, but every time I'm getting somewhere I get back home, and promptly push the ideas to the back of my head as I get on with "normal" life.

I've read so many good blogs, from so many different runners, friends, passing acquaintances, people I've yet to meet, people I'll never meet. In some of those blogs, I've read that running defines that person, it makes that person who they are. I can fully understand that, empathise with it - I'm just not sure that's me...

And by not being sure, it makes me question myself.

Let's look at the running side of me. I run. Okay, so elaborate - well, I run ultras (mostly), on trail (mostly) and I don't train as much as I should. Further elaboration? Well, if you dig deeper you can see that I tend to race between 20 and 50 miles - I don't think I'm ready to step up to 100 miles yet (in fact, I KNOW I'm not ready to). Those races are mostly on trails - although there are odd bits of tarmac along the way the majority of the events are off-road, preferably hilly, bleak beautiful areas (I know you can trail run in a city, but trust me, it's not the same as being in the middle of Kinder Scout for example). Yes, I train on roads sometimes (or, more accurately, on the canal towpath about two miles from my house) but that's mostly because when doing intervals it's easier to judge constant pace if the surface is constant.

Do I train as much as I should? Or, should that be do I train as much as I could? Realistically it's probably the latter. I'm not a sponsored athlete, a semi-pro, someone at the forefront of events. Yes, working with my coach over the last 7 months has seen a huge improvement in my finishing positions and finishing times, but I'm still around a third of the way down the field - so "should" seems a bit...awkward. Now, "as much as I could" is a very different matter. Every person has 168 hours in a week. Currently I train for around 7ish of them. Now, I know I work for 40 hours, and everyone needs sleep - but that still leaves large chunks of spare time. I'm fairly sure if I did a time and motion study on myself it would both amaze and disturb me when I saw just how much time I wasted on social media, general internet surfing, TV watching etc etc. So, could I train more? Yes, undoubtably! Would it improve my performance? Yes, of course! Will it improve my enjoyment of life? Now, there's a difficult one to answer - on the one hand, yes, I DO love running, love to be outdoors, love to spot wildlife, listen to birdsong, feel the burning sensation in my muscles as I push uphill or speed downhill. On the other hand though, that would mean more time away from Miss. G, more time away from the other things I love to spend my time doing - most specifically listening to music.

So, with all those thoughts in mind, does running define who I am? I don't think so - I think I'm a runner, but I'm much more than that too.

I'll stop here, and write a part 2, about music, and also about books - do they define me?